Assimilation Anxiety

Posted by Rezwan Razani on Oct 04, 2013 at 10:33 PM

This site was founded by an Iranian+American who suffers, as many Iranian+Americans do, from Assimilation Anxiety. Luckily, the cure is easy!

Indeed, I hardly suffer from such anxiety at all any more.  Go ahead, call me two veined!  As for being Iranian+American…

Accident of Birth

Does the soul have a nationality, a race, a denomination? Assuming that it does not, why does it get so wrapped up in cultural identity when it gets anchored into a body?

Shouldn’t we all just try to rise above these petty things? Isn’t it ultimately racist and jingoistic to obsess over cultural identity? It certainly can be.

Then again, a culture/nation/race/denomination provides a handy group of similar people around which to organize.

Perhaps my non-defined soul is simply (and practically, sensibly even) leveraging the identity of my specific ethno-dimensional body for greater universal/spiritual transcendence (not to mention “for fun and profit”). Or so it can be.

Yes, the operating system of the soul can operate on any body it happens to be installed on, whatever the race or country of origin. This one happens to be installed in an Iranian+American.


I know. You’re thinking, “Isn’t that supposed to be Iranian hyphen American?”

Well, yes. Conventionally. In punctuation, a hyphen indicates that two words are joined together, connected.

However, we find that the hyphen, which is also the symbol for subtraction or the negative in math, carries with it a not-so-subtle judgment about the nature of connection.

With the hyphen, you get the feeling that somehow, even though there are two things joined together, the whole is made up of only a part of each. In other words, it’s not that half of you is full Iranian and half is full American. It’s more like you are an improbable whole made up of half of an Iranian and half of an American. Like some kind of Frankenstien monster sewn together from parts found in the global morgue. Each component of your identity has been tainted by, and therefore reduced, corrupted and lessened by, the other.

This is very sad.

In contrast, with the new, improved plus symbol, you become twice the person! You no longer have a compromised, congealed, awkward, subtractive identity. Instead, you have expanded to have twice the identity.

Trade your hyphen in for a plus symbol and unleash quantum physics to your advantage. Say it loud, and say it proud: I am Iranian. I am American.

It’s a particle. It’s a wave.

Immigrant Counter-Assimilation Experience

Note: This assimilation thing has multi-lateral anxiety to go all around, if the Thanksgiving story is any indication.

Symptoms of Assimilation Anxiety:

Treatment and Relief of Assimilation Anxiety:

  • Relax
  • Transcend
  • Trade your hyphen in for a plus sign
  • Wallow in the joy of multi-culturalism
  • Wallow in the fun of bilingualism with Magnets!
  • Get more involved in all your various communities, the dominant and the threatened ones both
  • Take a moment to get clear on what you want to amplify from each group that you allegedly belong to. Then leverage these identities for a greater universal good.
  • Get Simorq-anized.
  • Chocolate. Naps.  Sunshine.

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