Programmable Rose Colored Glasses

Posted by Rezwan Razani on Oct 09, 2014 at 07:04 PM

The market is ripe for Programmable Rose Colored Glasses - the technology is now available to design them, and we have never been more eager to see the world with our own filters firmly in place.


The Programmable Rose Colored GlassesTM were first designed to take the burden off of women in Muslim countries who are bound by law to cover themselves.  It is thought that the sight of a woman is so intoxicating, that men will explode if they look on a nA mahram woman.  Here is an image of a sign in Iran admonishing the menfolk to mind their gaze:

برادر نگاهت
barAdar negAhat
Brother - your gaze

Programmable Rose Colored Glasses to the rescue.  A devout Muslim can place the glasses on, and the glasses will filter out all objectionable women from the room.

Patented Gender Identification and Obscurement Technology

The glasses work by identifying female or female-esque persons in your line of sight and covering them up for you by polarizing the lenses in a strategic manner. 


Some Muslims are more devout than others.  They will want to cover up the females completely.  You can easily program the glasses to do this. Likewise, you can program the glasses to give them only moderate modesty.

Other Applications

This product is also useful for non Muslims.  There will be people who are giving a speech and who have been told that it’s best to imagine the crowd naked in order to feel more comfortable while speaking in public.  But imagining a naked crowd is difficult.  With Programmable Rose Colored Glasses - hey presto - you can actually SEE the crowd naked.  All humanoid forms will be overlaid with nakedness. 

Seeing the World the Way You Want to

Why stop at modesty and public speaking? Why not just see what you want to in the world?  If you don’t want to see race - these glasses can color balance all people to be the same shade of orange as you.  If you wish everyone were blonde - hey presto, program them blonde. 

Coming Soon

Programmable Rose Audio Headphones: Hear only what you want to hear.

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